Thursday, April 14, 2011

Payback ... AKA Consequences

Oh I hurt. I hurt in many, many ways, in many, many places.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Right Kind of Proud

Proud is a word that is thrown around a lot these days. I don't always agree with the uses, and I was raised not to show it. My mom had a misguided sense of humility. She's not alone, but that's not what I want to discuss right now. I'm going to enjoy a moment of pure pride.

18 months ago ...I didn't like myself, and I convinced myself that if I was just thin again everything would be better. So I joined a gym and got with the trainer there. He's a patient man, but will NOT accept "I can't do that" as an answer. It's exactly what I needed. I started SLOW. I couldn't do much. 25 pushups sounded like Mt Everest. Mike didn't care, he just helped me find what strength I did have and just a little I didn't know I had.

12 months ago ...I didn't like that I wasn't losing weight at the gym and I got discouraged, but Mike wouldn't accept that. He quietly waited for me to come back to my senses. I was starting to be able to do pushups, crunches, lift weights. Mike pushed me toward 50 pushups in the course of a workout. Even a month ago, I struggled terribly to get 100 push ups. They were even broken up in many, many sets. So today when Mike said "500 pushups, 500 squats." I caught myself thinking THERE IS NO WAY. I *might* get to 100. There is no way I'll get 500.

I got 500! Proud of me?

Friday, April 1, 2011


As an elementary student, I was the object of a young man's anger and frustration. I was the object of a bully. I was teased and tormented emotionally for 6 years. I lived my life scared of what would come next. Even though he never touched me physically, it was still bullying. I tried talking to teachers who would equally try to manage the situation. He would only get worse the more he would get into trouble. He would find sneaky little ways to get around teachers and administration. I got so desperate that I finally sought out the school counselor. My plea? Please help me learn to cope. I can't change him. I can't change what's happening. Help ME. The counselor called the bully into my session and proceeded to interrogate him right in front of me. My trust was broken. My spirit was broken, and I was more of a target than I had ever been. Thankfully, I have come a LONG way since then. THANKFULLY, education has come a LONG way since then. I do not ever take my experience for granted and continually teach my boys about respecting others and their feelings. Please talk to your children.